What's the gayest thing in my apartment?

Okay. This isn's about me. It's a question raised by some character by the name of Paul Ryan, who for some reason wants to know if people would drop by his place and, based on what they say there, think that he might be well, GAY [not that he has a problem with that].

A lot of this is based on his discomfort with Tony Bennett on vinyl and having a cheesy lookin' lamp [check out the pictures below] on his bedstand. Hell. It isn't even kitch far as I can tell.

Anyway, he sought input, so this is what I told him:

This is difficult, man, but I'd say given what you've offered as options you don't seem gay enough. No hot babe is going to be fooled into believing that it would take much for you to swing her way. She might not see you as enough of a challenge to, ah, convert.

If you are trying to pick up chicks with the "Gay" thing, you have to be really convincing which means you have to be more fey or [conversely] hyper-butch.

Point being, you seem to be hopelessly heterosexual.

Having said that, the Tony Bennett album cover does appear well worn, maybe if it were playing when she entered the apartment, followed up with the slip on clogs, though that would be pushing it.

The lamp? Nah! That's just schlock, which doesn't rise to the level of kitsch. Unless you are being ironic, and then you ought to have a set of two, and bigger ones.

I'd suggest going out and getting a modest sized statue of David [placed in the bathroom] or a 20x30 poster of David Beckham with his shirt off and pulling up his socks. THAT would be gay.

Anyway, Paul seems a nice enough feller. Go visit his site and rack up his hits counter.